I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
