Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
