You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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