I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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