party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
