I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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