I just pynch a tree in the face
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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