it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
