i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
