he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
