i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
