We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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