Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
