Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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