your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
