i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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