If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
