I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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