It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
