my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize