She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
