It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
