Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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