____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sext me about skeletons
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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