we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
