Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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