my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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