GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
