Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize