my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
