god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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