Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
