I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
