i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
