Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
