just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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