it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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