If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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