I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
