omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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