i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
