had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
vagina is talking i cant
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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