i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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