Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
