My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
