Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
