I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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