final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
