a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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