just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
