absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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