And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
