I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
