he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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