I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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