I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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