The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
