Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
