whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
