I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Farmville is her only friend.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
